The most time you have...
A few years ago I was reading Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. I was particularly struck by letter 15 when Screwtape, a deamon high in rank, explains to his nephew Wormwood the value of keeping his "patient" living either in the past or the future. It was imperative that the patient not make meaningful connection to the present as "The present is the only point at which time touches eternity. " Call me simple, but I was floored by this realization. As a schemer, the future is a place I had tried to inhabit, always waiting for something, some moment, some condition to be perfect for the living out of dreams to occur. But I was shocked to realize I don't exist in the future or the past. I exist only at this point in time. And once I learned that, I was eager to expound on it with everyone at every opportunity.
A short while later I was combing used book stores in my city for Jean Vanier's Becoming Human. (Listen to Massey Lectures here - buy the book here) I am a sucker for antique, thrift, and used book stores; they have a kind of allure to me, like I am getting a glimpse into something sacred. I can spend all day looking at items, furniture, books, photos, and trinkets that once belonged to someone else. It is like their lives have left indelible marks on the physical (and I'm not just talking scratches and crayon) that speaks to the inherent significance of each life, no matter the circumstance, known or unknown. I walked into one particular bookstore which was organized in only a loose sense. As I scoured the shelves, I quickly realized I was getting nowhere fast and time was ticking by. There were places I needed to go, things that needed to be done. I inquired with the owner about the book, which he didn't have, and commented that I must come back one day to give the shelves their proper dues when I had the time. The owner replied to this sentiment with, "The most time you have is now." I smiled and made some polite dismissal as the door jingled shut behind me and I hurried on to my next commitment, but those words rang in my head reminding me that I am not promised tomorrow and that I am only connected to eternity at the present moment in time.
The Most Time You Have Is Now. - it is a phrase that has been an anchor for me for the past few years. A truth that rings through the noise. A realization of the sacredness of the present moment.
It might seem like I am stating the obvious, that this is a universal truth we are aware of from a young age. But, "The most time you have" is NOT to be confused with the catch phrase of the moment: YOLO.
I guess in their essence they say the same thing, but YOLO has been tainted with the short-sightedness of lust. When I was in high school, "You Only Live Once" was a mantra we lived by. It is not a new phenomenon. It was an excuse to be as reckless as we liked; hang the consequences because we needed to seize every chance to fill the empty space with thrill. It was ok because we were "living each day like it was our last" and we wanted to experience everything and have "no regrets."
Don't get me wrong; I still want to squeeze every moment out of life, feel things with abandon, live with excitement, chase the things I'm passionate about, do the unexpected, take the road less traveled, and other cliches pertaining to living life to the fullest. And I don't even look down on that youthful and narcissistic chant of the day: YOLO. It is part of the DNA of being a living, breathing, feeling human. And it can lead us to fulfillment as surely as it can lead us to despair.
The difference for me between "The Most Time You Have" and "YOLO" is that one connects us to the moment to fully experience it - to relish it and acknowledge the vastness and beauty therein - and one turns our thoughts to the next experience - and robs us of the sufficiency of the juncture.
The present moment is where real life is lived out. It is the space and place where we can truly touch eternity, where we have the opportunity to be united to connect with people, with ourselves, with God. We can miss it, too. We can miss it waiting for the next, perfect moment that never seems to show up. We can miss it reliving yesterday's moment of joy or regret. It only lasts for a moment, and there is no guarantee there will be a next moment - I have known many for whom the the next moment didn't come, and it didn't matter that they were in high school, or that they were the only surviving parent of a young girl, or that they were healthy, or that they had just given birth.
"The most time you have" means everything. It is now, and it is the only chance we have to make a real choice. I am practicing to choose thankfulness, justice, love. I pray that every moment I am reminded of the most time I have.
