The Dreadliest Catch

Dread Update!

Let me start by saying that I just wasn’t cool enough to rep the dreads to their full potential.

It was a struggle. I knew it was going to be. I knew they were a lot of work. I knew they needed some serious love and attention if I wanted them to look tidy and tight and kempt - yes, I do believe dreads can look kempt. Alas, the vision of tight, ropy, waist-length dreads, adorned with shells and coloured twine skyrocketing my coolness level to unimaginable heights was not to be. I cut them off.

I had one dread that was two years old, and it was beautiful. It fell nicely, it was tight, it had a big ass bead on it. It was the example I knew could be achieved if I dedicated two solid years to allow the dreads to mature. Fuzzy, loopy, and I had a bunch of rogue hairs lose all over the place.  This would be my hair reality for dos anos unless I put in some serious maintenance or had serious patience. Or went blind. The issue was multiplied because I have just experienced postpartum hair loss. It’s a thing. I have thousands of fine downy hairs all over my head. New growth from the molting event that recently occurred. And believe it or not, all those new hairs don’t know they are supposed to tuck themselves nicely into dreads. As a result they just stick out everywhere. Its really attractive. Trust me.

I had honestly considered cutting them off around Christmas, but I had some encouraging people who helped me rally for a few more months.  I thought I could hold on until two years. I really did. I thought I had set my resolve. But one Sunday night, after a shower, I was lamenting the ability to scratch my whole scalp at once and as I crawled into bed with my family for some down time before we went to sleep, I voiced the unimaginable:

“Should I cut these dreads off?”

“Yes!” - my husband hates the dreads.

He patiently let me run where my hippy heart would, but he did not like the mass of snarls and scratchy ropy tresses that now graced my noggin. I mentioned when I started this journey, that I am a short haired girl. I haven’t looked like myself in almost 4 years. Neither of us thought so.

Not Me. (2016)

Me. (2006)

The hubs didn’t just immediately jump on the “hack off the dreads” band wagon. He actually questioned me first. Was this a knee jerk moment? Was this something I was going to regret doing? Was this the first moment I had thought about cutting the dreads? I appreciate that he gave me space to make my own decision here instead of pushing his anti-dread agenda.

After waffling back and forth for a few minutes, I just went and did it. One at a time I used a pair of dull scissors and literally hacked each one off. I had all kinds of longish strands that were sticking out all over. Nothing was even. It looked like a huge mess. And then I had another shower to wash all the extra shorties and loose hair out. And it felt amazing. A.MAZE.ING!

Take a minute to drink in this masterpiece.
Like a train-wreck, it is hard to look away from.

I’ve got to be honest - the dreads were just not jiving with me and my lifestyle. In fact, because I am a short haired girl at heart, I didn’t like the way the dreads looked when they were hanging down around my face. As a result I kept them up most of the time and the extra weight sticking out from the back of my head made my neck hurt. And it bumped into the headrest in my car. I had to pile them up on top of my head or take my messy dread bun out to drive. When a hairstyle starts causing one pain, it is probably time to give up on it.

Also, they weren’t working with being a mom for me. They would get in the kids’ faces, and they weren’t nice to cuddle with. Not to mention how I would sprawl them across my pillow at night. It doesn’t really create space for kids or spouses to come close and cuddle. (Not that I am opposed to the space - I am not a cuddler - but they all are, and they all need some of that physical attention from me.)

So Monday I called a hair salon to see if I could get the hack job cleaned up, and I was fit in that afternoon. And finally after years growing my hair and about 10 months of dreads, I am a short haired girl again.

I LOVE IT. I was a little worried that I wouldn’t look right - maybe I was too chubby now for short hair. But for real. I feel like a babe. I am so happy to be back to me. And my husband has been enjoying rubbing my short hair head and snuggling up closer than he has been able to since my thick hair started getting some serious length.

I talked with some of the girls I have met since moving - they only know me with long hair/dreads so this is a big change for them. Everyone has been super enthusiastic about the hair, but I was talking to a girl about how we both tend to start projects or skills or whatever and not finish them. She jokingly said that she had failed herself so many times that she didn't want to start something new. I am not looking at this as a failure. I tried something that many people won't try. It was a long term commitment - growing my hair and putting in the dreads and letting them mature as much as I could - and I did it. No one helped me. I gave it my best shot. And in the end I found out it wasn't me. That I already knew who me was in the hair department and I am back there. Do I regret the time I spent doing this thing? Not at all. It was a rad journey that I can talk about and gave me some insights I would have never gotten if I hadn't walked this road. Try things out. Even if in the end you revert back to what you knew before - it isn't actually regression. It is an experience and a stretching. And my hair might be back to "normal" now - but I KNOW more about who I am because I walked out a different image for a while.

Thus ends a narcissistic chapter of my life in hair.

Peace.

My hair and my complex

Today I feel like I have a Complex. All I really wanted to accomplish today was a trip to the grocery store. But, we slept in (Thank the LORD). And nap time didn't happen until after noon - and didn't end until 3:30 (thank the LORD), so that means I am way behind on the day. Although I got a very small amount of unexpected cleaning done. Meaning, the garbage got taken out. But that is basically all. I have half heatedly started making the cabbage rolls I promised Mark for supper, but since I haven't been  to the store, well, they won't be done for tonight, that is for sure.

And really I only have myself to blame for the lack of time and the complex. And maybe the internet. I am getting a complex from the internet. You see, I am, at heart, a hippy dippy child. I like to do things the hard way, usually by hand; and that, I am sure, qualifies me for a hippy. But the internet. Oh you internet - full of blogs of people with so many hippy dippy ideas and recipes. I should have been a homesteader, because at least then there would be limited amounts of information for me to get lost in and I could actually legitimately do everything by hand and toil, toil, toil all the day long.

You see, today, I was consumed by my desperate need for a shower and to wash my hair, but listen to me. I couldn't. Here is the complex. I have been thinking about trying to be more natural with my soaps and hair care products, and I nearly have all the things I need to make my own soap/shampoo. And yet, I also feel like I have been fighting the lifelong struggle of an itchy/flaky scalp. Maybe not lifelong. Maybe only for a month or so. But it is maddening! And since I've been trying the alternative methods, the shampoo bars, the herbal things from the health food stores, my hair has felt so gunky. I hate to touch it. Which works out because I only comb it like once every three days anyway. But back to the story. I got stuck looking online at alternatives to washing my hair. I looked at the baking soda/apple cider vinegar method; the pH balanced alternatives. And before I knew it... AAAAAGGGGHHHHH! I was in an immobilized panic about how to properly care for my hair, the environment, accomplish my daily tasks and somehow get into the shower with the added difficulty of a six month old! And all the while my scalp is itching and flaking and my hair is covered in some kind of wax or crud from the bar shampoo I've been using the last few weeks, the day is ticking incessantly by and then.... I was too overwhelmed. I didn't want to deal with transition periods, or any of the struggle of trying to be non toxic and crunchy and live the difficult, homemade life. So I used the Head & Shoulders, guys. I cracked under pressure. Or maybe I just realized that at this moment in time, this day, in this season as a new mom who is trying to set up a new house in a new town with no friends (this is something I am becoming acutely aware of, but it's another story for another time) that if I use some store bought, toxic Head and Shoulders, the stuff my dad has used all his life, the world would keep spinning. And MY world would actually spin a little smoother. And you guys, my hair and scalp feel amazing!